Gnome Wars!

Last night the first round of gnome wars began with a fellow guild member. He is trying to steal my throne as the guild's most awesomely cute gnomie! So we decided to settle this, Highlander style. We had our first battle outside Mogushan Palace. The battle was long and tense and unfortunately I came ill prepared. His fighting was better and his outfit was amazing. Victory was his on this occasion. But next time, I'll be fighting fit and ready to beat him into submission! There can be only one!

The gnome jokes in guild have been veeery funny. My poor ribs have taken a battering from the banter. There's nothing that cheers me up more than a good laugh. Even if it's at the expense of gnomes. We're built for comedy anyway. There's no way you can be serious when you have a gnome. It's impossible! But the dwarf making these jokes claims he does it because he hates gnomes (it's in his guild notes. Or it was, at least...) but I know differently. Secretly he loves, loves, loves gnomes. I know, I've seen it. When he thinks no one is paying attention he hugs them. A lot. More than is right, really. Pats them, blows kisses. I think he wishes he was a gnome. He's a bit of a smelly dwarf and I think the smell of candyfloss and sweet things that gnomes smell of give his poor nostrils a break from his own ripe stench. Sometimes I even hear him shout 'For Gnomeregan' when he charges, by mistake. And don't even get me started on how much he loves Darkmoon Tigers. He just can't wait to pop one out a have a ride. He's a bit silly (being a dwarf and all) and he seems to think they're a mount. He hasn't realised yet that it only rocks backwards and forwards. It kinda puzzles him when he's still in the same spot when he gets off. And that's when we can pry him off it. The dwarf just wants to stay on them all day! I have screenies for anyone that wants to see...

Finally, this is a call out to my competitor. This week I will be farming dungeons for a ridiculously large sword and the best fighting outfit a gnome could have. I'll meet you next week. Same place, same time. All guild members are welcome to come and see me beat this gnome into submission. Put him in his place once and for all! Bring popcorn to watch the gnome explosion!